**Why was the maths book sad?**

It had too many problems!

**Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?**She’s definitely plotting something.

**Why don’t they serve beer at a math party?**

Because you can’t drink and derive.

**What do you get if you cross a math teacher with a crab?**

Snappy answers.

**Why did the math teacher have so many children?**

Because they were so good at multiplying!

**Why does nobody talk to circles?**

Because there is no point.

**Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?**

Its parents wouldn’t cosine.

**How do deaf mathematicians communicate?**

With sine language.

**Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?**

Because they can’t even.

**Why should you never talk to Pi?**

Because he’ll go on and on and on forever.

**What snakes are good at doing sums?**

Adders.

**Why couldn’t the number four get into the nightclub?**

Because it was too square.

**What happens when you put a root beer in a square glass?**

It becomes beer.

**Why don’t Romans find algebra interesting?**

X is always 10.

**Are monsters good at math?**

Not unless you Count Dracula.

**Teacher: If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 7 apples in the other, what would I have?**Student: Big hands!

**What’s a math teacher’s favorite kind of tree?**

A geometry.

**Why wasn’t the geometry teacher at school?**

Because she sprained her angle.

**Why is the obtuse triangle always upset?**

Because it is never right.

**How do you get warm in a cold room?**

Stand in the cornor. It’s always 90 degrees.

**You know what seems odd to me?**

Numbers that aren’t divisible by two.

**A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.**

But when he rounded them up, he had 200.

**What did the man say when he was cooled to absolute zero?**

Nothing, he was 0K.

**What did the triangle say to the circle?**

You’re pointless.

**There are 10 kinds of people in this world.**

Those who know binary and those who don’t.

**What did one math book say to the other?**

Don’t bother me, I’ve got my own problems!

**Why do mathematicians love it when it snows?**

They get to make snow angles.

**Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?**

To get to the same side.

**Why does algebra make you a better dancer?**

Because you can use algo-rhythm.

**Did you hear the one about the statistician?**

Probably.

**What is a mathematician’s favorite dessert?**

Pi

**Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?**

Student: You told me not to use tables.

**What do you get when you add 2 apples and 4 apples?**

A second grade math problem.

**Why did 1/5 go to the masseuse?**

He was two-tenths.

**Who invented the Round Table?**

Sir Cumference.

**Matt had 60 cookies. He ate 30 of them. What does he have now?**

A tummy ache.

**How many sides does a circle have?**

Two – the inside and outside.

**I was going to buy a pocket calculator. **

But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have.

**Who do the inches follow?**

Their ruler.

**Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated?**

Because it is never right.

**How do a cows add?**

With cow-culators.

**Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?**

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

**What’s the difference between a diameter and a radius?**

A Radius.

**What has eight legs and eight eyes?**

Eight pirates.

**Why don’t mathematicians need to buy wood for their fireplace?**

They have lots of natural logs.

**Why did the cosine make fun of the sine?**

It was an odd function.

**What do mathematicians eat on Halloween?**

Pumpkin Pi.

**What do you call an empty parrot cage?**

Polygon.

**Old mathematicians never die.**

They just lose some of their functions.

**Why is it such a shame that parallel lines have so much in common?**Because they’ll never meet!