Why was the maths book sad?
It had too many problems!
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
Why don’t they serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive.
What do you get if you cross a math teacher with a crab?
Snappy answers.
Why did the math teacher have so many children?
Because they were so good at multiplying!
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
Its parents wouldn’t cosine.
How do deaf mathematicians communicate?
With sine language.
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
Why should you never talk to Pi?
Because he’ll go on and on and on forever.
What snakes are good at doing sums?
Adders.
Why couldn’t the number four get into the nightclub?
Because it was too square.
What happens when you put a root beer in a square glass?
It becomes beer.
Why don’t Romans find algebra interesting?
X is always 10.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
Teacher: If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 7 apples in the other, what would I have?
Student: Big hands!
What’s a math teacher’s favorite kind of tree?
A geometry.
Why wasn’t the geometry teacher at school?
Because she sprained her angle.
Why is the obtuse triangle always upset?
Because it is never right.
How do you get warm in a cold room?
Stand in the cornor. It’s always 90 degrees.
You know what seems odd to me?
Numbers that aren’t divisible by two.
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
What did the man say when he was cooled to absolute zero?
Nothing, he was 0K.
What did the triangle say to the circle?
You’re pointless.
There are 10 kinds of people in this world.
Those who know binary and those who don’t.
What did one math book say to the other?
Don’t bother me, I’ve got my own problems!
Why do mathematicians love it when it snows?
They get to make snow angles.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
Did you hear the one about the statistician?
Probably.
What is a mathematician’s favorite dessert?
Pi
Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?
Student: You told me not to use tables.
What do you get when you add 2 apples and 4 apples?
A second grade math problem.
Why did 1/5 go to the masseuse?
He was two-tenths.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
Matt had 60 cookies. He ate 30 of them. What does he have now?
A tummy ache.
How many sides does a circle have?
Two – the inside and outside.
I was going to buy a pocket calculator.
But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have.
Who do the inches follow?
Their ruler.
Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated?
Because it is never right.
How do a cows add?
With cow-culators.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
What’s the difference between a diameter and a radius?
A Radius.
What has eight legs and eight eyes?
Eight pirates.
Why don’t mathematicians need to buy wood for their fireplace?
They have lots of natural logs.
Why did the cosine make fun of the sine?
It was an odd function.
What do mathematicians eat on Halloween?
Pumpkin Pi.
What do you call an empty parrot cage?
Polygon.
Old mathematicians never die.
They just lose some of their functions.
Why is it such a shame that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet!
